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Jun. 7th, 2011

I am fucking sick of it all

I love it when my friends come over to MY house, try to tell me what to do and then get pissed when I put them in their place. I love how they come over to my house and don't even bother to say two words the whole time they are here. Watch me invite you over again. I am fucking sick of being a punching bag, I am sick of everyone taking their anger out on me. I just don't know what to do anymore. Everyone is blaming it on the heat, saying that people are getting an attitude because it's hot. Bullshit. If you have a problem, confront the person about it. Don't sit around at my house and brood about it all damn night when we're trying to have fun and take your mind off of things. Grr. I am just fucking sick of it all.

Feb. 17th, 2011

Should I tell him or should I not tell him?

Hmm, that is the question. And no, not Steven, this has nothing to do with him...or rather it does, I guess. He told me tonight he was thinking about whether or not he should invite his dad to the wedding (his dad is a bigger jackass than mine is) and I said I was wondering if I should even tell mine I'm getting married and he said yes. When I asked him why he said because he wants to meet him, because it's the proper way to do things. But if I tell him, I know he is just going to go into this whole "Daddys Little Girl" act and we all know that isn't true....so why should I even bother to tell him?? But then again, I guess he does have a right to know....although I am just tempted to wait until Dylan or Roni are born and then show up on his porch and say, "Hi, this is your grandson Dylan" or "this is your granddaughter Roni" and see what he says.

Although I did tell him to invite his dad out of spite, if thats what he chooses. Invite him just to show him the kind of man he grew up to be without his sperm donor's help. And that's what I want my dad to see. I want him to see what he missed out on, I want him to see everything I accomplished without his help. I really want him on his feet begging for my forgiveness but hell will have to freeze over before that ever happens, which means that will never happen. Because none of it was ever his fault.

*sighs* I guess I should swallow my pride and tell the asshole he's going to have a new son in law, especially before my sister beats me to the punch...if she hasn't already told him...

Feb. 8th, 2011

So it's official...officially!!!!

IM ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's officially official this time!!!!!!! Although he did ask me in a text message, but I told him I want him to do it officially next time we see each other...but it's officially official now....... I don't know what to think.....

Jan. 6th, 2011

So many updates, so little time

Wow, so many updates, so little time, lol! Where to begin?

I posted out for a first shift position a few weeks ago and I GOT IT! I started yesterday morning and I love it, it's much better than being a vampire and having to be awake all night (or as I call it, sleep working). The only thing I miss about third shift was that, at least on my line, we could get away with murder. None of the big wigs were around, and so we could pretty much do whatever we wanted (and I was always texting). Can't do that now, but at least first shift goes by waaaay faster than third ever did and its still light out by the time I get home, and I get to sleep at night. All good things.

Just got back from the Griffins game, and they've actually been doing pretty good lately, despite all their injuries (four) and call ups to Detroit (2) which has resulted in us having to sign and call up players for Toledo. But we seem to be meshing well together and starting to put pucks in the net, which means more wins, which is good. Maybe we'll have a shot at playoffs this year!

Speaking of the Griffins, going on a booster club road trip on Saturday, to Rockford, Ill. I haven't been on a road trip since the overnight one when we went to Toronto like 5 or 6 years ago...it's going to be fun, just me, my mom, Kathy and Steven, the four of us.

So, I'm guessing at least the two people that read this want an update on my love life? Okay, I guess I'll just come out and say it.....IM GETTING MARRIED! He hasn't officially asked yet, but we have been talking about everything, from the wedding to when we want to start having kids, etc. And tonight, we were texting at the game (cuz some stuff shouldn't be said aloud in front of the moms) and we were talking about being together forever and he texted me back with "Til death do us part, baby." He's already saying wedding vows! So yeah, it may not be "official" but it's official in my book. To the point that he ran into a friend of his at the game tonight (one that he's conveniently been wanting me to meet for awhile) and when she asked him how he was, he told her he was getting married. And I know in my last entry I said that we hadn't even kissed or held hands yet....well now we are waaaaay beyond that stage! Yeah, I am definitely head over heels in love here... and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him! Tonight we were talking a bit about getting our own place.

Well, that's it for now, I need to vamoose and get ready for bed, I have to be up in about 4 and a half hours to go to work.

More later,


Oct. 9th, 2010

It's official....or is it?

First and foremost, hockey season started tonight, woohoo!!! Of course, the Griffins lost though....I swear it's all they know how to do anymore. But Rob D had a good time, and he got a stick, a puck (that hit Steven in the head) and a shirt out of it as well as some autographs, so it was all worth it.

So yeah, it's "official", or unofficial I guess, whichever way you want to look at it. But it looks like Steven and I will be eventually getting married, the way he was talking the other night. I texted him and asked him how serious he was about the wedding he is always talking about, and he said very, and then I said so what you're saying is that you eventually want to marry me, and he responded back with yes. So I guess in a way it's unofficial (although his mom has already started referring to us as being engaged) and has pretty much already told everyone in the family that we are 'engaged' even though it isn't official yet. And he doesn't say anything. So.....i don't know but that sounds like a pretty good sign to me. Now the question is, when he will ask, and how he will ask, lol. (though I will laugh my ass off if he does it the same way he asked me out, through text message; although we are doing things backwards so that wouldn't surprise me. He smacked my ass before he asked me out, we haven't even held hands or kissed yet and yet we're planning on getting married, lol)

I still can't believe how lucky I am. Every day I worry that I am going to do something to fuck this up, that it won't last like my other relationships. But the more I see him, the more time I spend with him, the more I realize it isn't going to happen, and I shouldn't worry so much because worrying will fuck things up. And it annoys me, because Josh keeps texting me, trying to talk to me, as if he wants me out. He claims he wants to hang out, catch up, but if we do, I know what is going to happen. I WILL NOT do that to Steven, he doesn't deserve that and he's too good a guy for that to happen to. I want my forever, and Josh isn't my forever. They say that God has a plan for everyone. Obviously God wanted me with Steven, or we wouldn't have been friends for as long as we have been, and that's what makes our relationship stronger, that we were friends first. I told Kathy the other night, I think she has a sixth sense, because when we first met, she saw the way he and I acted around each other and said from day one, you two act more like boyfriend and girlfriend than brother and sister, why don't you just go out already. I told her no, it's never going to work out, we're just really good friends and I don't want to ruin that friendship. But it's just gotten stronger. I see the way he looks at me now, the way he sticks up for me and that's all I've ever wanted in a guy. I told Kathy last night, after he left the bus station to go to work and gave me a hug, I love the way his arms feel around me, the way he hugs me as if he doesn't want to let go. God, I am so in love. I can't believe it. And I'm going to do everything in my power to make it work out.

Alright, I am going to go to bed now. I am supposed to be at work but I banked out tonight for the hockey game and I have Sunday off so I am going to get as much rest as I can get. I can hardly see straight, so good night and more later,


Sep. 27th, 2010

Happiness finally cometh

Yep. So happiness finally comes to me, after so long of waiting for it. Why, you ask? Because the one thing I wanted, I finally got. It still feels like I'm dreaming but every day I'm around him, a little bit more of reality comes back to me and I realize I'm not dreaming. I still can't believe how lucky I am. He is such an amazing guy who was definitely raised right, and I know this because his mom is and has been my best friend for five, almost six years now. At first she didn't want us to pursue it because she thought we might ruin our friendship, but I told her that was up to us and I appreciated her concern, but she needed to let us make that decision. She knew how I felt about him. So I told her I was going to send him a letter on facebook and tell him how I felt, so he heard it from me, and then he could choose what to make of it and what to do from there. We had a cookout one night, walked over to the store and the next thing I know, he smacks me on the ass. I was like what in the hell was that, and he smirks and says Im bored. Then two nights later he asked me out. Never expected it to be that soon, but I think that letter, and the monkey I bought him off ebay kind of sealed the deal. And, what's more is he is already talking marriage and has been for the last month now! I definitely think this is serious and this is going to last, it's funny because the other night at the Spirit of America concert, his mom was bitching because "he" didn't get her a pop, when I was the one that bought them and he points at me and goes, wifey did it, yell at wifey. So I'm already being refered to as wifey, lol, that's hilarious. I truly believe I am in love for the first time, and I told my mom and his mom and they both looked at me like I grew another head and said duh. When I texted Kathy and told her that he asked me out, the first words out of her mouth was, about fucking time.

So, to make this short and sweet since I have to get to work in a few minutes, I've got two ideas for NaNo this November. One is a vampire story, about a girl who believes she is a vampire to the point her parents have her locked in an insane asylum (oh the joys of working third shift, I now consider myself a vampire), and the other is called my boyfriend is from pluto (thank you very much Steven, for the idea). I don't know yet which one I want to do.

But for now, I have to head off to the hellhole I call work (at least for the time being, anyway)

Jun. 28th, 2010

Stupid people

Well, so I lost my job at the YMCA. Not that I'm surprised, really, I expected it when I got suspended a week and a half ago. But honestly? Tell me how much sense this makes. They fired for me a no call, no show, except that I CALLED IN!!!! They told me that because I couldn't find anyone to cover the shift, it was my responsibility....so I guess that means you can't call in sick anymore, because another girl, Shelby, was trying to call in tonight because she was sick and they told her that she either had to find someone to cover her shift or get fired for no call no show. And then Jennifer had to call and tell Melissa last week that she might be late or might not show up at all because her daughter was sick and she got written up for a no call, no show. Something tells me that Brianna, now that she is the new KidZone director, is just trying to get rid of everyone back there. I bet anything that Shauna will be the next person to be 'discharged' as they told me. But I told them flat out that their measley three days a week, three and a half a week weren't doing anything to help me at all and they just looked at me and said okay, fine. Then I asked for documentation of everything I've been accused of in the last couple of weeks (refusing to change diapers, which is absolutely absurd because I've never refused to change diapers the entire time I've been there, not being engaged with kids, which honestly, I'm not sure how much more engaged you can be by being outside and pushing them on swings or helping them with monkey bars for three hours, and some shit that happened in the baby zone when mind you, I've never worked the baby zone, one time the entire time I was there). Since michigan is an at-will employment state, they needed a reason to fire me, and that was a very unlawful no call, no show, especially when Melanie ADMITTED that she had the voice mail on her phone of me calling in and then proceeded to write me up anyway.

Gah, bitches, I tell you. They must have rewritten the entire handbook, because as I explained to them (and they still didn't listen) when Tara trained me and went over the handbook with me, she told me that the call in procedure was that if you absolutely couldn't make in, you had to try to call everyone on the list, and if nobody could cover your shift, then you could call in, and that's exactly what I did. And now apparently it's a no call, no show. Ugh. I hope that Shauna, Jennifer and Shelby don't lose their jobs, but if they do, then they can join me in my lawsuit against the YMCA. Because I am not going to let this go.

On the bright side, I might have a job at Golden Corral. The guy called me yesterday for a second interview and it sounded pretty promising, so maybe I'll hear from before too long. I really don't want to quit Taekwondo now that I've just gotten started....it'd be stupid to quit at yellow stripe...and I want to keep taking it under Master Kilroy, but I'm not sure I really want to step foot back in that YMCA again.

And with that....the YMCA can kiss my ass!!! And Brianna and Molly can as well!!!!

May. 10th, 2010

Life and something like it

Yeah...so here I am again. And once again, I am single. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't bother me, because this relationship was over long before it began, anyway. But still, he could have had the balls to tell me he didn't want to see me anymore and not make me find out by checking his facebook. Something told me to check his facebook the other night and lo and behold, I find he is with some chick named Sam. Alls I can say to that is that I hope he is happy. And he will get his day and when that day comes, I will be there to cast the first stone. The problem is, I listened to the lies he spewed me, when I told myself, that after Mike,  I wouldn't listen to anymore lies. *sighs* So I feel that I got myself into this. Yeah, and he got something out of it, too. Something that I can never get back. The same thing most guys are after. I hope that this Sam chick knows what she is getting herself into. And I hope that he talks to her more than he did to me, because that's what a relationship is based on, is communication, and he seriously lacks those skills. *sighs* Oh well. Now's the time I wish that Dick had stayed here....

So.....have you ever wanted something so bad but you're not sure how to tell the people around you because you don't know how they will react to it? Yeah. There's something I've been wanting lately, but I haven't been sure how to broach the subject to my mom. Not to mention, I am seriously lacking funds. But if I can get the funds to do it, I think it might be something that might change my life, and the people's lives around me, for the better...... Unless of course I can get the idea out of my head.....But this is something I think I am being led to do, a higher calling of some sort, or something like that, depending on the religion you believe in. So....we'll just have to see.

More later,


Dec. 29th, 2009

So bored

 Wow, can you all faint now? Sure you can, because I am finally posting something on here to update, lol! I have been so busy that I think I have just forgotten to post. Or rather, I haven't really had anything to post lately. And....sadly, facebook has taken over my life, as I think it has everyone else's!

So, where to begin, since I haven't updated since what, August? Hmm. Well, let's see. Hockey season has started, and the Griffins are doing okay, they could be doing better, but with injuries to the Wings and call ups, we're losing a lot of guys so it's starting to affect the team in negative ways. I just hope we can pick it up, get our guys back, and do better the second half of the season.

Well, speaking of hockey, I had a little fling going with a Griffins player. It started the night of the Tip A Griffin at Applebees, when he was messing around with me and I could tell then that he was flirting with me. Every time Mattias came over to our table to talk to us, Dick came over to, and one time, he even pretended to steal some of my food, then laughed and kind of hid behind Mattias when I caught him doing it. So we continued it after that night at Applebees. He started it, so I decided to finish it. I decided to ask him to go out to the bar with me after a game. So I waited, and when he came out afterward and saw me standing there waiting, he gave me a huge smile, like, his entire face literally lit up like he was genuinely happy to see me, and was like, "HEY!". For once, I was actually able to get him away from Mattias (his best friend, but more like his siamese twin as they were never seen without each other.), and Mattias held back to sign some autographs for the little boys that were waiting back there with me, and so Dick and I made it down to the edge of the driveway behind the arena where Mattias's car was, without Mattias. I was surprised. But anyway, I asked him if he wanted to go the bar with me and he had said that he and Mattias (of course!) were going to McFadden's after the game the next night and I was welcome to go with them. So I was planning on it, but then he came out after that game the next night and said he didn't feel good. (Gee, I wonder why, it was like, 20 below and he comes out with no coat on! We're not in sweden anymore, Dick!) 

So I never got my bar night with Dick and Mattias. So I had planned on asking him for a rain check, but I never got a chance, because I could never find him in the concourse long enough to ask him. He was always either with Daniel's girlfriend, Hanna, or Mattias's girlfriend, Josie and I certainly wasn't going to ask him in front of them (although whether or not Josie speaks English is beyond me - I know that Hanna does). So I had decided that I was going to wait until the Great Skate at the end of January, and ask him then, to scope out a little bit, make sure he didn't have a girlfriend and whatnot. Well, he comes out after a game one night a couple weeks before Christmas, and me and my mom and Kathy noticed that he was carrying his equipment. We found it a little odd that Brad or Jake wasn't carrying his equipment, and that he was carrying it to Mattias's car, especially since they played at home the next night. I commented "That looks heavy" and he replied, "It is' then proceeded to put it into Mattias's car and run across the street to the Bella Visa, without even looking at me. When he did look at me, it almost looked as if he felt sad. Normally, he didn't avoid looking at me and was actually glad to see me, but this night, I didn't know what was going on and I started to get a bit suspicious. The question I should have asked was, "Why are you carrying your equipment, isn't that Brad's or Jake's jobs?" but I didn't. 

Well, a couple days later I was at work and Kathy texted me that Dick had gotten suspended. I asked why and she told me that all it said was that he had walked off the team. After hearing that, it explained why Dick had walked out that Friday night carrying his own bags. He was leaving right after he went to the bar with Mattias and Josie. Even Mattias, his best friend, couldn't talk him into staying. What's worse is that he left without even telling the team, which was why he got suspended. I still sort of blame myself for this. Everyone could clearly see what was going on between Dick and I, most especially Mattias, Kathy and my mom. They weren't blind to it,and I know Mattias and Dick talked about me (In Swedish of course) every night. Perhaps if I had said what I should have said, if I had asked him why he was carrying his bags out, perhaps I could have at least convinced him to tell the team, to tell Coach Fraz and Kenny Holland that he was homesick and wanted to go back to Sweden, then at least he wouldn't be in as much trouble as he's in now. But then, if Mattias, his best friend, couldn't talk him out of it, would I have been able to? I could have at least tried. One of these nights I am going to pull Mattias aside and ask him why he didn't tell me what Dick was planning...maybe the two of us could have tried to talk him into sticking the season out. Maybe, maybe not. One could only hope. But, we could have at least tried. 

The sad thing is, now Mattias will barely even look at me. It's almost like he blames me for his best friend leaving, even though Dick had been planning to do it all season. Or rather, maybe he doesn't blame me, but maybe he is just ashamed to look at me because he knows what Dick and I were getting at, where we were going. 

I miss him, but I am angry at him. I never expected him to do that. That's the closest I have ever come to having anything with a hockey player, other than Jiri, but Brad had to get in the middle of that one. Dick and I did this on our own. All I can say is, I hope he returns next season but if he does, he has some serious explaining to do. He saw where things were going, he could have been man enough to tell me himself that he was leaving. But he wasn't, and that, more than anything, is what disappoints me. 

More later,


Jul. 15th, 2009

Rants and Half-Blood Prince

Huh, kinda sad that I don't really post here anymore, I really need to start again. But other journals are taking over the internet world I guess so not a lot of people use LJ anymore. I remember when I was in High School and Greatest Journal was all the rage, then LJ took over. I still know my GJ account too, that's sad, lol.

Anyway, I know I told some people about what was going on with my sister and I feel safe posting it here because she doesn't have an LJ, at least not from what I'm aware, but I thought I'd update everyone on what is going on with her. Most of you know my youngest sister had a baby back in Janurary. Well, back in March or April she found out that she was pregnant again. Needless to say nobody was very happy because Gary was only 3 months old. Well, she went for an ultrasound the other day and she found out that she and her husband are being recommended to terminate the pregnancy. Apparently the baby has a condition where the brain isn't developing and it never will, and it has no skull and no skin whatsoever on the back of it's head and so it won't survive once the cord is cut, the only reason it's alive right now is because of my sister. She doesn't want to terminate it and I know this is a hard decision for her, so please keep her in your thoughts and prayers and help her find the strength to make the right decision and do what is best for her.

Why does finding a job have to be so hard? On the other hand I don't see why Joan can't give the others a day off once in awhile to give me a few hours so I can at least get some money, I mean this is ridiculous! And then of course there's Miguel, who told me, oh yeah I'll hire you, let me see where I can fit you in on the schedule and I'll call you. And then when I go back out there two weeks later he's not hiring. Nice Miguel, thanks. I love you too, not! *rolls eyes*

Okay so now its time for my HBP rant. And for anyone who hasn't seen the movie, don't read below.

So the movie. First of all, what the HELL was up with the beginning?? I mean Harry in the Underground and the waitress flirting with him and all that? That was totally unnecessary and did absolutely nothing for the plot! The whole first half of the movie was just totally ruined for me!

What was up with the Burrow being blown to bits? Bellatrix did not blow the Burrow up in the book, so why the hell did she do it in the movie and now where are the Weasleys going to live?? And speaking of Bellatrix, she did not give in that easily when it came to Narcissa talking with Snape in the beginning of the book. It also wasn't her who suggested making the unbreakable vow, either, that was Narcissa. And furthermore, Arthur knew nothing about the Vanishing Cabinet in the book, so why was it him who suggested to Harry that Malfoy was using a Vanishing Cabinet??? That part didn't make any sense.

Tonks and Remus did not get together until the very end of the book. When Malfoy Stupified Harry at the beginning, why was it Luna who found him and not Tonks? Why wasn't Tonks at her post in Hogsmeade where she was supposed to be? Was she too busy snogging Remus to do her job??

What happened to the whole Battle at Hogwarts? What happened to Madam Rosmerta being Imperiused? Nothing was even mentioned about how Katie came about getting the cursed necklace and how Slughorn came across getting the poisoned mead that he was going to give to Dumbledore but that he gave to Ron. What about Bill being bit by Greyback? Are we totally going to skip over the wedding in the 7th movie, which is where the start of the action takes place? JKR obviously added the part about Bill in because it was important for the 7th book and it should have been put into the movie.

What about the memories? The last two memories were out of order and the first two, with us learning about Gaunts Ring and Voldemorts whole beginning, which was the most important, and then seeing Hepzibah with Hufflepuffs Cup and Slytherins Locket, were not even shown and those were the two most important memories. And I hated the young Voldemort, I wish they could have gotten back the guy that played the diary Riddle in the second movie, he was much better. The guy in the book is described as handsome and this guy was just plain ugly and evil-looking from the beginning! There was nothing of him coming back and asking Dumbledore for a job so he could find something of Ravenclaws and Gryffindors to use as Horcruxes, too, which is also important and sets the premise for the 7th book.

Harry and Ginnys kiss did not take place in the Room or Requirement, it took place after the last Quidditch match of the season! And there was hardly anything in there about her and Dean or all the fighting, it was all about Harry and Ginny and Ron and Hermione from the get-go.

Slughorns first party happened on the Hogwarts Express, not at Hogwarts and speaking of Slughorn, I hated the guy that played him. To me, he didn't seem to do the part justice and it wasn't the Slughorn I pictured.

There could have been something done with Dumbledore telling Harry that he inherited Grimmauld Place and Kreacher and Dobby tailing Malfoy and stuff like that, which also sets the premise for the 7th book. Basically every storyline that sets the premise for the 7th book, they left out of this movie.

There was more comedy than there was anything else. And for it being a movie about the Half-Blood Prince, where the hell WAS the Half-Blood Prince throughout the whole movie? I don't mean Snape, I mean the Potions book, and Hermione doing the research to try and find out who it was and stuff like that. There was like, nothing, on the Half-Blood Prince at all and that annoyed me because that was the whole point of the damn book!!!! It could have been done much better.

I HATED Lavender in the book and I hated her more in the movie. She ANNOYED me!!!

Molly not wanting Ron and Ginny to return to Hogwarts. Again, totally pointless, nothing to do with the storyline and no need to be added in. Molly trusts Dumbledore, she knows her kids would be safe and therefore she would have no problem sending them back to Hogwarts. Where did David Yates get that whole idea from anyway??? Way to keep it canon, Mr. Yates! I mean come on now, don't go changing the book just to fit your purposes. And furthermore, Dumbledore did not just DROP Harry into the water when they went to the Burrow, they actually talked in the Broom closet and then Dumbledore delivered him personally to the door, there was nothing about his trunk and Hedwig already being there, and Ginny and Ron trying to find him, they were already asleep when he arrived because it was 3 in the morning!!!

They could have added in some of the stuff about the kids learning how to apparate instead of just showing us Harry doing it all the time.

Scrimgeour and Percy not even being IN the movie! Come on, I mean I know Percy is a prat and all and Scrimgeour is an ass, but they could have at least been shown when everyone was at the Burrow over Christmas like they were in the book. Another important part of the whole book was Scrimgeour trying to convince Harry to stand beside the Ministry and the whole "Dumbledores man through and through" crap and they didn't even show him!

There was a lot more that I didn't like that I could mention but it would be waaaay to long! Now for what I did like

The argument between Snape and Dumbledore. I was actually glad they added that in instead of like the book, having Hagrid tell us that they argued. It was much better to see it than just hear about it.

Dumbledore's death. I was under the impression that they were leaving that part out but that they added it in made me happy. The funeral would have been better to add in, but I loved McGongalls wand tribute to him. And Harry in his office at the end picking up the Elder Wand, because at least they added in SOMETHING to do with the 7th book!

Ron being poisoned. I don't know why but I think this part was done really well.

Dumbledore and Harry retrieving the fake Horcrux. While I would have liked to see more of Dumbledores reactions after drinking the potion, the whole, "It wasn't their fault, it was mine, blame me" and stuff like that, I thought that part was done really well, considering what went on the rest of the movie.

Weasleys Wizard Wheezes. Can I live in this shop? I mean seriously, that was the best damn toy store I'd ever seen!!!!

I think that's the end of my rant right now. I had a lot of stuff that I didn't like about the movie, in fact I disliked more than I actually liked the movie. Overall, it was a good movie, but Im not sure it was the best of the series, as a lot of people are saying. Yates' OOtP was by far the best and actually stuck to Canon more than this one did, this one had the same premise that Cuaron's PoA had. I think they left out a lot of the major plot points that set the story for the 7th book and it kind of makes me afraid of how the 7th movies are going to be...I mean its being divided into two movies which means they want to cover the whole book, obviously....but I hope they don't leave our near as much as they left out in HBP, seriously...On the plus side though, Tom Felton gets hotter the older he gets

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